Shiver Trilogy (Shiver, Linger, Forever) by Maggie Stiefvater

Author:Maggie, Stiefvater [Maggie, Stiefvater]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2011-07-11T16:00:00+00:00

• SAM •

For one spare moment, I saw it for what it was, the way I must have seen it for the first seven years of my life: just an ordinary bathroom, faded and utilitarian. But then my eyes found the tub and I couldn’t stand. I was sitting at my dining room table. My father sat next to me; my mother hadn’t sat next to me in weeks. My mother said

I don’t think I can love him anymore. That’s not Sam. That’s a thing that looks like him, sometimes.

There were peas on my plate. I didn’t eat peas. I was surprised to see them there because my mother knew this. I couldn’t stop looking at them.

My father said

I know.

Now I was being shaken by Cole. “You aren’t dying,” he said. “It just feels like it.”

And then my parents were holding my thin arms. I was being presented to a bathtub, though it wasn’t evening and I hadn’t been undressed. My parents were asking me to get in, and I wouldn’t, and I think they were glad, because my refusal made it easier for them than trusting compliance. My father lifted me into the water.

“Sam,” Cole said.

I was sitting in the bathtub in my clothing, the water turning my dark jeans black, feeling the water wick up through my favorite blue T-shirt with the white stripe, feeling the fabric stick to my ribs, and I thought, for a minute, for one, merciful moment, that it was a game.

“Sam,” Cole repeated.

I didn’t understand, and then, I did.

It wasn’t when my mother wouldn’t look at me, just gazing at the edge of the bathtub and swallowing, over and over. Or when my father reached behind him and said my mother’s name to get her to look at him. Or even when she took one of the razor blades from his proffered hand, her fingers careful, as if she were selecting a fragile cracker from a plate of delicacies.

It was when she finally looked at me.

At my eyes. My wolf’s eyes.

I saw the decision in her face. The letting go.

And that was when they had to hold me down.

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